Autism Gratitude Project 2012 Day 12

Autism Gratitude Project 2012 Day 12 - I am grateful for play. Not "play therapy" but real, natural, child's play. Something I wasn't sure I'd see back in the beginning stages of diagnosis days and maybe something I wouldn't have seen if not for all the "play therapy" we have done for so many years BUT something I see all the time now. Caught up with some friends and their kiddies this morn (some spectrumites, some not) and all the kids played their hearts out. There was no need to shadow the kids and "help" them take turns properly or demonstrate how the toys work and how the game goes and so on. They all just played. 

I was able to just sit and watch the boys play with their friends and they occasionally moved off to regroup and have some alone time but before long they were rushing back into all the games and boyish tomfoolery (oh how I've always wanted to use that word...  It's just so delightfully silly and descriptively fabulous)........

I even commented at one point, "So THIS is what a "normal" playdate feels like."  I wonder how many other mums have been able to just sit and watch their kids play without the pressure of being a much maligned "helicopter" parent, always watching their child's every move in case you need to step in, explain "behaviours" and "help."  I wonder if the parents who have never had to be that ridiculed and maligned helicopter parent realise how special that is and how the "dull" moments at the park or on a playdate are the monumentally "huge" moments in my life.


The simple act of sitting and being in the space with other mums and having a conversation whilst the kids played was so refreshing, recharging and so so needed.  I could sit with my closest girlfriends and laugh freely and also take the time to talk about the bigger "stuff" on my mind...  Like how angry I get with myself for not just "being over it."  The "it" I'm trying to "just be over" is the "misery loves company period" and it hits me out of the blue without warning and no matter how many "good days" I have I know I'll still have bad ones.  I "just want to be over it."  Have it finished already and MOVE ON freely without ever turning back to feel the pain.  It's not possible.  I know that.  It will take as long as it takes and I'll have to cope with being brought to my knees every so often without warning for a while longer.  I knew in that moment, talking with those friends whilst the kids played, it's ok though.  I have these friends to hold me in those moments and let them pass.  I have this support at my fingertips when the times are good or bad.  I'm not isolated anymore.  I can draw on the playdate moments where I recharge with the strength my friends provide with their never ending patience and judgement free ears, shoulders, hearts and arms.  Having an opportunity to just talk, be secure with the people I was sharing the "dull" but huge moments with is not something that is easy to understand unless those moments are huge for you too.


I can enjoy a playdate with my boys playing happily and whilst sitting in the safety of those I choose to have in my world who love and support me and my boys as their kids play too.


I am grateful for play.